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Sexual price tag

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  • Save American Journal of Sociological Research 2015, 5(2): 23-29 DOI: 10.5923/j.sociology.20150502.01 Price Tag of Sex Glynn I. Pasigon*, Lawrence C. Caranto, Juan Jose T. David Benguet State University, College of Nursing, La Trinidad, Philippines Abstract This study examined the moral values of students on premarital sex, public display of affection, cohabitation, and parents’ involvement in the relationships they have or will have. [1] [2] According to Freud psychoanalytic theory, the driving forces behind personality is generated by the libido. Freud suggested that our mental states were influenced by two opposing forces: cathexis and anticathexis. Cathexis is defined as an investment of mental energy in a person, an idea or an object. Anticathexis on the other hand involves the ego blocking the socially unacceptable needs of the id. Interview was the main method of data gathering. Collaizi’s strategy in descriptive phenomenology established the data analysis. The findings of the study show that all the participants are not agreeable on casual sex and in publicity of their sex life; however, they are divided about losing their virginity before or after marriage. Public display of affection or PDA, had a low acceptance rate but can be conditional on what is displayed. Cohabitation is not acceptable for most of the participants but is qualified for the minority, then again divided, as to cohabitation with sex or none. Parent’s approval is deemed necessary for the majority, but for the minority, as not badly needed and not needed at all. My findings suggest that students’ view on sexual morality is dynamic. There are a lot of factors and considerations as to how moral is moral to them, their decisions were based but not limited to their family upbringing, cultural environment and society’s norm. I cannot conclude whether the participant’s beliefs and moral values are moral or otherwise. There are no concrete bases as to what is moral or not. However, The bible suggests and contains what are known as biblically acceptable moral values and so as the law comprehends what is moral or not. Keywords Moral values, Premarital sex, Public display of affection, Cohabitation, Parents’ approval 1. Introduction It is imperative that we appreciate the intuitive appeal of sexual moral values to most people in today’s society. These values sprung out from the liberal tradition and its definition of personhood, a tradition that has decisively shaped our politics, our economics, and our society’s ethics. The assumptions grounding the ethics in our society are so pervasive that we often lack the resources to present an upright challenge to them. The “thou shalt not” of biblical authority is instituted as little more than a last-ditch resistance, and a barrier against the encroachment of principles wherein we have no means of neutralizing. The Bible contains a far more convincing and considerable unlike picture to suggest us, one that could inoculate us against this ersatz morality. [3] It is stated in the book of first Thessalonians 4; 3-4 that “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour.” [4] Christian writer, Jim Newhieser, in his book, “Gods plan for * Corresponding author: (Glynn I. Pasigon) Published online at Copyright © 2015 Scientific & Academic Publishing. All Rights Reserved the family” stated that a person’s past sexual dealings can cause havoc on his future relationship. Sigmund Freud’s stand that most behaviors are based on our sensual leanings is also considered. In my study the terms sexual morality or values (what they believe as morally upright and, or acceptable) and, students (Benguet State University- College of Nursing level IV students, of batch 2015) are inflexible. My study aimed to determine the moral values of students on premarital sex, public display of affection, cohabitation, and parents’ involvement in the relationships they have or will have. I hold that my study can contribute to the students the value of having a leaning on their moral ascendancy geared on sexual beliefs. 2. Methodology This study used qualitative method and employed purposive sampling specifically maximum variation sampling. An in-depth interview was utilized in my data gathering procedure. The participants were chosen from Benguet State University- College of Nursing level IV students, of batch 2015. The participants were personally approached, and asked whether they would like to participate in the study. 24 Glynn I. Pasigon et al.: Price Tag of Sex On all ten participants a total of 6 sessions of interview took place and an average of 45 minutes per person. I did all the interviews on all the participants. No adverse events occurred. Participants did not receive compensation at the conclusion of the interviews. I achieved their full participation after I established rapport and ensured to consider the participant’s convenience in both the time and place for the interview. Methodological triangulation was used as a manner in validating data. Interviews typically began with a question about how they value sex. Results of the interview were subjected to Colaizzi’s phenomenological method of data analysis. It offers personal insights on how to present an auditable decision trail in a phenomenological research study and explores issues of rigor and trustworthiness. It provides practical examples on how to illustrate the processes that can be employed to interpret the research study. The following methods was used by the researcher to know the students’ sexual moral values: reading and rereading descriptions, extracting significant statements, formulating meanings and categorizing into clusters of themes and validating to identify the effects common to all respondents with original text. 3. Result and Discussion The themes that emerged from the data are presented in the conceptual map below. The conceptual map shows five broad domains: Sex for sale, Exhibitionism, I for Rent, Tick-Tock, and Parental Guidance. Sex for Sale This domain embraces the participants’ beliefs and thoughts as to whom they would want to have sex with, and their preferences as to when will they want to have sex. Furthermore, it discussed their stand on situations they face about sex. [3] I Corinthians 7: 1-2 hold, “Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” Buyers. The participants are not supporters of casual sex. They would want to offer themselves not just to anyone but to someone they made a connection with. For example, K and Kr held, “Aramidem ah jay ayayatem ngatao (do it with the person you love). …as long as it is given to someone you love.” and Kc supposed, “… someone I can trust.” From their statements, they don’t just do it with anyone they meet. They still consider the process and love involved. According to Kc, “ang awkward naman to have sex without love ano yun!” sex is still meaningful and carefully given thought of, G expressed “apay Americano ta nagsabat kayu lang dita sidewalk ket let’s have sex kunam? (Unlike the Americans who do sex casually).” In a thought catalog by Jessica Blankenship, she wrote “to have sex with anyone, you have to trust them to some degree. Trust and guardedness work in balance anytime you’re in a vulnerable position (and despite whatever mental maneuvering you do to depersonalize sex, it inherently, unavoidably involves vulnerability) – the less you trust, the more guarded you are. The more you trust your partner, the more you feel safe letting loose, both in terms of your actual, physical safely and in terms of the things you let yourself feel, and say.” The participants still values and take sex as something important. Table 1. Conceptual map of the study’s themes Sex for Sale Exhibitionism I for Rent Tick-Tock Parental Guidance •Buyers •One piece or two piece? •When is the sale? •What if it’s sold out? •Pulling the leg •Mass production! •Shameless •Limit and Setting •No Way! •In one condition! •Rent then buy! •Rent then Bye! •We are waiting •Wait and more •We won’t wait •Wait for what? •Yes! •It’s a must! •Half- half •Nah! •No! •to melt • to crush •to embrace •to back down. American Journal of Sociological Research 2015, 5(2): 23-29 25 One piece or two piece? Though, they agreed that sex is not given casually, they differ in opinions as to giving it to the one and only and experiencing it together with the one you love at that moment. Some participants have a firm stand that it is done with only one person, N said, “… para sa asawa ko lang yan… (Solely for my husband).” Ns claimed, “I have to stick to the old culture…, … sex is a sacred gift for my husband” K stated, “…ijay asawak lang ah… (For my spouse of course).” On the other hand some accept that it could be shared with the person you’re in love with at the moment. S assumed, “… jay love ko ah ngakayat ko nga pangitedan … (someone whom I am willing to give that I love so).” Kr, held “… it’s not a requirement to keep solely for one, as you can see it is already acceptable today, because I think that it is also a process, hindi ka naman sure (you can never be sure) if the one you love now will be the one you’ll marry, you had sex today and then yung pagmamahamo is nawala (the love that you felt had disappeared) but you had the experience so you became better, then you’ll fall for someone new. Personally I don’t see that it is wrong.” Based from their statements, it is the influence of culture, and family upbringing that they came up with such decisions. Although society openly presents that sex is normal, still others are not convinced. Even if you’re from a conservative family bound by culture and tradition, you still have the right to decide for yourself. Kr added, “…young family ko naman hindi very open sa mga ganyan (my family’s not as open to that thing) but I observe din (also) from media and all, so for me it’s no big deal....”. When is the sale? According to a research, [5] “Filipino Adolescents’ Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors: Results from a University Cohort” by Elmer G. De Jose, it revealed a high percentages for both male and female adolescents that still value virginity, and disclosed disagreement with premarital sex.” The participants were divided into sex before or after marriage. Among the participants, seventy percent agreed to preserve their virginity and not have sex until they are married. Some believed their opinions don’t need any further explanation. G and N said, “…syempre dayta ket nu nag asawa kaun, sika met! (…of course, you have sex when you’re already married!) ahmm… no nag kasar kaun. (…when you’re married).” The others thought of the bad and good results as to why they prefer to keep themselves pure before marriage. Most of their statements revealed that sex before marriage is not moral and will produce criticisms. The good side about sex after marriage is the appreciation of people around and your readiness as a person. Nm explained, “Sex is after marriage, if you get yourself pregnant before marriage people will criticize you, ibaga da nga naanakan out of wed lock, tapos diba mali naman talaga yun? parang bawal pa nga ata yun sabatas…( Isn’t it morally wrong?)” D elaborated, “…you do it if you’re ready, ready, meaning nga ready kan ngamaki asawa ah, nga omuneg ti commitment, so naturally nu naka asawa kaun asa kayo ag sex. (… If you are ready to get married and to enter into a commitment so naturally you do it when you’re already married).” Ns expressed, “…sex is a sacred gift for my husband…alam mo yung tipo naman ah na maaapreciate ka ng mga kakilala mo, (people will appreciate you) na they’ll say, oy sila maganda yung start ng marriage nila (their marriage started right), and para naman you leave a good testimony, and so that you could be proud of your relationship.” However, in that seventy percent, some decided to weigh the impact of the circumstances involved and consider the firmness of the decision a person makes, “K, said that, “as much as possible madi kuma, ngem nu ngy makainum ka ket hanmu namalayan naaramid mu diyay, acceptable para kanyak, ngem nu gapu lang ijayi bagbaga da nga han mu mapigilan , ay no ada priorities mo kayam dayta nga itakder” ( as much as possible it is not good to have sex before marriage but what if under the influence of alcohol I have done it, then that I’ll accept but if your reason is because you can’t stop your urges, if you have your priorities you will be able to stand on what you believe) and, B believes “… but personally ha, make a decision nahindimo I reregret” ( make a decision you won’t regret). The remaining participants settled that sex is not exclusive for the wed. They believed that sex is a part of showing their love to one another and that it is not wrong to do it as long as they do it with someone they love, someone they are intimate with, someone they know well even diseases they have or could get, and someone they trust. S claimed, “Okay lang kanyak nga maki sex oray han kau agasawa ta love ku met isuna.” (It’s okay for me to have sex even if we’re not united because I love her.) Kc added, “ it is normal as long as yunnga you’re intimate enough and you trust him, dapatpatiyung diseases namakukuha mo alam mo (it is normal as long as you have intimacy and trust, and you should know including the diseases you’ll get from it)” One commented that sex goes hand in hand with experience, and that it is socially accepted “in some countries and soon in ours”, Kr’s statement goes, “Sex is a part of the process where you explore and gain some experiences to get better at it, for pleasure, course when we talk about sex there is always pleasure attached, and for your partner...,… it’s a part of learning.” [3] I Corinthians 13: 6, Rejoiceth not in inequity, but rejoiceth in truth. What if it’s sold out? The in-depth interview grasped the participants’ views when faced with some situations related to sexual activities. The partner’s circumstance was put to view regarding their sexual relationships in the past with other people. It is not a guarantee that their partners will stand the same grounds as them and may have had sex from their past relationships. Given these facts their answers were drawn. Most of them claimed that it is okay that their partners are not virgins. For some it’s no big deal as long as they are clear of their relationships with the past, Kr and Kc echoed, “… okay lang, as I said it is a part of learning., … okay lang, I’ll interrogate, I’m concern about the diseases I’ll get, and I’ll make sure that the past is clear before I engage”. Others are okay with it because they believe that to love someone, you love them as a whole with their flaws and you give them a chance to change. S cut down, “okay lang… because it was her decision, if you love somebody, you will accept them,” D explained, “okay lang, it’s his past, isipin 26 Glynn I. Pasigon et al.: Price Tag of Sex mu nalang na parang other mistakes yan, where in bigyan mu sya ng chance nga agbaliw met ah., ang importante hindi nya ginagawa habang kayo pa”(it’s okay, it is his past, think of it like any other mistakes where you give him a chance to change, the important thing is that he won’t do it with others when you’re together)To some they are okay with it even if they felt in some way that it’s unfair that they kept there purity while the other partner did not. Nm expressed, “parang unfair naman ,pagkatapos kong preniserve, tapos ganyan… pero pag mahal ko talaga (it seems unfair after I preserved mine, for him not… but if I really love him) then I might have to accept” and Ns supposed, “okay lang (it’s alright), I’m not sure naman (anyway) if that’s the right guy for me but I would still prefer a virgin as much as possible, tap no fair met ah (so that it’s fair)” Although, to some it is disappointing and needs a thorough thought of the situation before acceptance. B spoke, “… disappointing pero nature talaga yan ng lalake, acceptance nalang in my part, (it is disappointing, but that is man’s nature, I’ll just have to learn to accept it) that is who he is eh, what you see you get, tangap lahat ng flaws (accept all his flaws)” N and G said, “disappointing , ahm. alaminku muna yung reason siguro tapos depende dun yung decision ku” (disappointing , I’ll have to know the reason first before I decide further). K suggested, “Depende jay rason na , No ngy piman rape victim? alanganadi…” (It depends on the reason why, what if she was a rape victim?) Pulling the leg. For Kr, Kc and S who agreed that sex is okay before marriage, they still have some grounds to stand before they engage “If we both agreed to have sex then...,… if I know that that relationship is not going anywhere then I won’t consent. …If I felt like doing it.” Most of the participants will resist and restrain themselves. K said, “I discourage ku suna nu kasla kayat na nga ag sex, explain ku nga amin nga banag ada oras na (I’ll discourage her then explain that everything has a time)” Nm decided, “pagpinapakita na nya na parang gustu niyang you know, (if his giving a hint that he wants us to do it) I’ll try my best to resist.” D spoke, “be firm in your decision! Stop it before it even starts.” Ns stated, “… I won’t permit! ...True love waits.” B expressed’ “pag sakasakaling pipilitin nya akuayoku ah ano yun ,apay kasla makishashare ti ice cream! aggayem kayu lan glalagyan ka nang tae sa ulo, de panupag magasawa na kau!” (If my partner insists to have sex I won’t permit, it’s not like sharing ice cream! at this time that you are still dating he would put poop on top of your head, what more if you’re already married?) A unique case who decided to resist and separate is N, “pag pipipilit niya (if he insisted) I’d rather choose to separate”. Mass production! The interview concluded that all the participants would not like to let the public know about their sex lives. G exclaimed, “…my sex life is totally private!”. [6] The 2013 Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study (YAFS 4), by the University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI) and the Demographic Research and Development Foundation, Inc. (DRDF), revealed that one in every three youth aged 15 to 24 years old has engaged in premarital sex, more than 14 percent from almost 20 years ago when the second YAFS was conducted. This translates to about 6.2 million youth who have engaged in sexual intercourse before marriage according to UPPI’s Maria Paz Marquez. She noted a narrowing gap in the number of males and females who have engaged in premarital sex: 35.5 percent of males and 28.7 percent of females in 2013, from 26.1 percent of males and 10.2 percent of females in 1994. The National Capital Region (NCR) and Central Luzon have the highest prevalence of premarital sex among youth with 40.9 percent and 39.1 percent respectively. Meanwhile, the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (ARMM) has the lowest prevalence with 7.7 percent. Exhibitionism This chapter will express the participant’s views on the subject about public display of affection. Shameless. Public display of affection (PDA) to some extent is disgraceful. Some believe that affections are shown in private. Kc stated, “I’m not a fun of PDA’s, nope! Just holding hand together in public is so embarrassing! Intimate things are not done publicly,” D shouted, “…dugyut! (Filthy!) There is a right time and proper place to display your affection, parang etiquette langyan.(It’s an etiquette) Ns commented, “...naasiwa akung tumitingin sa mga ganyan, didistansya aku sa kanya, ipakita ku na hindi yun maganda adi. (…I feel disgusted on things like that, I’ll put a distance between us and show the guy that it’s not a good thing) B exclaimed, “I call it papansin (attention seeking) show of affection, the sweetest relationships are seen in private, mahiya ka naman sa sarili mo, respeto sa nakaka kita sayo. (be ashamed of yourself, respect the people who sees you)” Limit and Setting. PDA is okay as long as there is a limit on what you display. K and N who agreed, “… depends on what you display, no holding hands lang or kiss ijay forehead… (if it’s just holding the hands or kissing the forehead), depende sa ipapakita mo.(depending on what you show)” S voiced, “ aus lang ngem ada limit ( okay as long as there is a limit) Distinctively the place on where you stand could give you the clues on the way you act, as conveyed by Nm, “it’s good to show your affection as long as there is a limit and consider the setting, if you know people around are conservative then be conservative!”. Poised. Uniquely Kr expressed, “it’s good, it shows that we’re confident to show other people that we love each other”. [7] Falling in love is wonderful and when it happens, we want the world to know. However, being too showy in public isn't exactly the best way to do this, because it shows a lack of general etiquette. When you and your main squeeze make out in front of people, they are likely to feel extremely uncomfortable. I for Rent These are the values the participants believe about cohabitation. No Way! Majority of the participants agreed that cohabitation is not an option. It’s not morally and American Journal of Sociological Research 2015, 5(2): 23-29 27 traditionally right and socially not acceptable, because it shows distrust between the partners. Some explained that settling together is decided when you’re in the stage of dating and not an experiment. K said, “… in our tradition it is wrong, ken talaga nga wrong adi para kanyak, ( it’s innate for me to think that it’s wrong)” Kr voiced, “ it shows that you don’t trust each other, their goal is to satisfy lust and they don’t have plan to stay together for the rest of their lives, they have no sense of security.” N explained, “… no ag gayem da ah asa da kuma I decide no kayat da ag asawa …” (their decision of staying together (marriage) should be decided when they are on the stage of dating) Nm stated, “hindi tama samata ng ibang tao (it’s not right in the eyes of the society), and personally it’s not good” B said, “live in? ayoko! (I don’t like)… marriage is not an experiment.” G exposed, “live in is definitely wrong …testing the waters? I don’t think a relationship as wobbly as that will work out” In one condition! Some agreed in live in so long as there is no sex involved. D expressed, “ no sex …explore the compatibility, there are things that you don’t show when you’re together not because you are lying of who you are but it comes naturally that you become or act good when you’re with someone you love, I just want to experience if I’ll still stay as one when were together like that…” Ns claimed, “…yes… so long as no sex… for company…but if possible live in separate home before marriage”. Rent then buy! One is okay with cohabitation as long it’s in a limited time frame and they are absolutely sure to get married in the near future. Kc agreed, “aus lang ngamaki live in basta one year kasjay no kaspangarigan awan kwarta pang kasar ket aggaganat kaun ken sure na sure nga agasawa.”(Live in is okay for me so long as it’s just for at most a year for the reason that maybe no budget for a wedding and we can’t wait to be together and if we are absolutely sure to get married). Rent then Bye! One agreed as long as his parents consented. This is to assess the partner. S suggested, “ta kitak no kayak nga kadwa suna (for me to assess if I could handle to be together with her) but I’ll ask my parents if they want it.” [8][9] The Family Code (Art. 147) recognizes, and expressly governs the property relations in, the relationship where a man and a woman live exclusively with each other just like a husband and wife, but without the benefit of marriage (or when the marriage is void). It is required, however, that both must be capacitated or has no legal impediment to marry each other (for instance, couples under a “live-in” relationship will not be covered under this provision if one or both has a prior existing marriage. [8][9] It was noted that the only readily apparent advantage of a common-law marriage over a formal marriage is in practical terms — the parties who may want to get out of the relationship don’t have to go through the process of annulment/declaration of nullity, a process that is quite tedious, lengthy and expensive. Tick – Tock. This chapter will discuss the participant’s conviction on finding their partners when it’s fate, destiny, God given and something more? [3] Psalm 130:5-6, I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. We are waiting. The result of the interview yeilded different values among the participants. Majority of them are willing to wait for the right guy. N, Nm, S, Ns, B and G all said, “… I’ll wait…”. God given. Although they believe in waiting some of them wait for the “God given person” like G who stated, “I believe in waiting for the right guy in God’s time,” Ns who voiced out, “I’ve been waiting and praying to God for that someone for me,” and B who spoke, “If you really are devoted that God prepared someone for you, you’ll have that someone. You don’t beg for love and you don’t ask for it, it will come, pag masyado mung hina hanap mas hindi darating (the more you think too hard about it the more that it won’t come) meron at merong para sa isang tao (there is always someone for every single individual)”. Others wait because they have faith that it will come. Nm said, “It is good not to rush, and if it comes you’ll know” and S stated, “mamati ak nga umay ladta,” (I believe that it will come). Wait and more. However, one did agree to wait but after her statement she added, “… but while waiting I can fling… (By Ns)” a saying goes, “A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones. (Cher )” We won’t wait. Others do not believe in waiting because they think it won’t help rather they believe in searching, chasing and working hard. K, “apay nga ag oray ka, agbiruk ka ah, no sino nakitak nga kayat ku adi isutiaremek!” (Why wait, search, whoever I see that I like to be with, then her I’ll court), Kc said, “I don’t believe waiting is the right term, look for the right guy because if you wait nothing will happen,” D advised, “if you wait, you won’t find it, you have to chase it, agururayka? nuada short cut, go for it kitdi! (…why wait? if you can do it short cut, then go for it!) Kr stated, “… you need to look and work hard for it if you wait, walang mangya yare. (…nothing will happen.) and if you wait kase (really), you can never be sure if that’s the right guy, you figure it out, and you both need to work hard on it” Wait for what? Among the participants, some shared their views about fate and destiny and the people who totally disagree, D explained, “fate and destiny, hindi kase realistic yan eh (that’s not realistic), I am more into realistic than idealistic, meron at merong the other person, hanna lang nga maymaysa, (there is always the other person, his not the only guy) I believe in multiple choices” Kc expresses, “ I believe you make your own destiny” K suggested, “ ti love, ma discover mo dayta han nga fate or destiny” (love is something discovered not based on fate or destiny” Some 28 Glynn I. Pasigon et al.: Price Tag of Sex believed in fate or destiny but fate or destiny alone is not sufficient. Ns said, “you don’t let destiny do the job for you” Nm held, “I believe in half/ half, I think I have a part to make the relationship work, hindi dahil sa destiny or fate lang (it’s not just because of fate or destiny)” Minority expressed that fate and destiny does exist, S said, “ada ti fate ken destiny” (there is faith and destiny). Parental guidance This chapter talks about their attitude towards parent’s approval to their relationship or their future relationship. [3] Ephesians 6: 1 contains, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” Yes! Majority stated that parents’ approval are necessary, one disagreed and claimed that it’s unnecessary while someone maintained and agreed to it partially. Their stands were upheld. It’s a must! Parents’ approval is a necessity to keep the relationship working. They could be a source of teachings from the family K shared, “… kailangan ah, isu da ti mang bagbaga”, they could be you’re way to know who’s the right guy as claimed by Kc,” it’s a must! If they approved then you’ll know that his your right guy,” and “parents knows best,” Nm stated. S also expressed “I need my parent’s approval” and D added, “…it’s needed, your parents are your family and you don’t neglect family, it will cause complications in your relationship…,…it could lead to eternal conflict…. it’s a good foundation for good relationships”. Half- half. B alleged, “…fifty, fifty combaga” (it’s partially important) dahil (because) you were raised by them… but personally with or without…”. Nah! Parents’ approval are not that necessary Kr stated, “…not really…”. No! When faced with the wall called “parents” between relationships, the participants were convinced to take actions. Their decisions were either to melt, to crush, to embrace, or to back down. To melt. The disapproval of parents could be overcome by way of time. S suggests, “I’ll explain that I really love her then give them time to accept, time might be what it takes to get their approval,” and D explained, “… try to wait, improve yourself …prove that you can be the best…,…demolish bad notion.” To crush. N bellowed, “fight for it if you know your right!” To embrace. Ponder on the reasons of the disapproval before proceeding to any decisions. This is necessary because love might have blinded you to see clearly and that parents’ might be reasonable, for example Nm who stated “…baka naman may matimbang na dahilan at nabulag lang aku dahil sa pagmamahal.” (…maybe their thoughts are reasonable and I just didn’t realize it because I was blinded by love) To back down. K expressed “if my parents disapproved, oray no kakayat ku jay girl (even if I love her so) I’ll give up”. [10] Hartwell-Walker, M. wrote, even if you would want your parents to love and admire the person you’ve chosen. Instead, they can’t see past their own traditions, values, or prejudices. They don’t see your sweetheart or spouse for the wonderful person he or she is. All they see is something Wrong – with a capital W. You feel caught between them. You love and, yes, respect your parents but you also love and admire your partner. Bridging the division is important. If you and the person you love aren’t clear about your commitment and the compromises you are willing to make to be together, the constant disapproval, whether stated or seething under the surface, can undermine your relationship. The child of the disapproving parents is caught in a terrible bind. Listening to and responding to either side makes the other feel abandoned, unloved or disrespected. The partner who is the focus of dislike may feel constantly under pressure to prove her or himself to be worthy. If unrewarded, the efforts can soon turn to resentment and anger that spills into the relationship. (2013) [3] Colossians 3: 23and 25, And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as the Lord, and not unto men; But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons. 4. Conclusions and Recommendations My findings suggest that the student’s view of sexual morality is dynamic. There are a lot of factors and a consideration as to how moral is moral to them. Their decisions were based but not limited to their family upbringing, from cultural environment and the society’s suggested values. I cannot conclude weather the participants beliefs and moral values are moral or otherwise. There are no concrete bases as to what is moral or not. However, the Bible suggests and contains what is known as biblically acceptable moral values and so as the law comprehends what is moral or not. The basis of morality according to [11] Tim Madigan on scientific versus religious explanations of ethical behavior states, “A man who has no assured and ever present belief in the existence of a personal God or of a future existence with retribution and reward, can have for his rule of life, as far as I can see, only to follow those impulses and instincts which are the strongest or which seem to him the best ones.... If he acts for the good of others, he will receive the approbation of his fellow men and gain the love of those with whom he lives. I recommend that when assessing moral values there must be concrete bases either biblically or lawfully as to what is moral or not. It is also recommended that the number of participants be increased and well categorized to cover and achieve new detailed data. Future research is needed to shape the findings presented here. I recommend more in-depth research on the sexual behaviors and practices of college undergraduates. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS It is my radiant sentiment to place on record my deepest American Journal of Sociological Research 2015, 5(2): 23-29 29 sense of gratitude to almighty God for the strength, knowledge, patience and love He showered me. To my parents who shared and gave their comments to improve the study and their unending supports. To the participants who sacrificed their time and who unabashedly participated. REFERENCES [1] Freud, S. (1920). Beyond the Pleasure Principle (The Standard Edition). Trans. James Strachey. New York: Liveright Publishing Corporation, 1961. [2] Freud, S. (1923) The Ego and the Id. London: The Hogarth Press Ltd.Common-law marriage (live-in relationships) in the Philippines. [3] Bible. Thessalonians 4; 3-4.Thessalonians 4; 3-4 .I Corinthians 7: 1-2 .I Corinthians 13: 6. Ephesians 6: 1. Colossians 3: 23and 25. [4] Newhieser, J. 2000. Gods plan for the [5] Elmer G. De Jose. 2011. Filipino Adolescents’ Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors: Results from a University Cohort. [6] Aquino, T. 2014. 3 Filipino youth aged 15-24 has engaged in premarital sex – survey. February 6, 3:21 PM. [7] Mayne, D. (2015). Etiquette of Public Affection. Guilty of PDA? Take a step back and learn what is appropriate. Retrieved January 28, 2015, from. te-Of-Public-Affection.htm. [8] Atty. Fred. 2007. Philippine e-Legal Forum. Retrieved January 28, 2015, from -in-relationships-in-philippines/.November 2. [9] Atty. Fred. November 2, 2007. Philippine e-Legal Forum. Retrieved January 28, 2015, from mmon-law-marriage-live-in-relationships-in-philippines/. [10] Hartwell-Walker, M. (2013). When Your Parents Disapprove of Your Partner. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 28, 2015, from sapprove-of-your-partner/00015804. [11] Madigan, T. (2015) The Basis of Morality. Retrieved January 28, 2015,from s_of_Morality. [12] Cherry, K. A. (2012). Freudian theory. Retrieved January 28, 2015, from freudian-theory.htm.

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